October 25th

This week we talked about relationships and love. One thing that we talked about was how we seem to be attracted to people. Some of the factors were proximity/access, physical attraction, and similarities. We often find that we are attracted to people that can seem to be similar to some of our family members. Sometimes we seek those that are similar to our family because they are "familiar". Another thing we talked about was what seems like a new trend; it is called 'Date 'em 'till you hate 'em". A lot of people seem to be following a model where they hang out, then make out, and then drop out of the relationship. It is better to follow John Van Epp's model of attachment. We should know someone more than we trust them, we should trust them more than we rely on them, we should rely on them more than we commit, and we should commit more than we touch. It seems like lately we jump into touching and feel attached to someone without really knowing them. Touching can distort our perceptions. This can be dangerous because feelings can be hurt and it can teach you to drop out of relationships if things aren't going well instead of trying to make them work. It is said that you should never date exclusively until you are ready to get married. There are different types of love. The Greeks said that there were four types of love: storge, phillia, agape, and eros. Storge is the type of love between a parent and a child. Phillia is a friendly love for another. Agape is acting in someone's behalf even if you don't like them. Eros is the passionate and romantic love that many of us dream about and long for. I think that it is important in a marriage to have all of these types of love. We would want to have storge in that we would be willing to sacrifice for another just like a parent would for a child. We would also want to have phillia in that our spouse is our best friend and that we will always be there for them. We also want to have agape and be willing to serve our spouse even when we may be frustrated with them and to have that Christ-like love for them. We all want to have eros because we all seem to crave that passionate and romantic expression of love. When we have this combination our love life will become better, and possibly even best. However, it is important to remember that marriage isn't like a Cinderella story where there is one perfect person for us and that when we get married everything will be perfect. There are many wonderful people out there whom we could marry and have a good marriage. The important thing in marriage is to have two people who are really committed to their religion and each other. Also it is important to remember that being happy doesn't mean there will be no conflict. Also conflict doesn't always mean fighting it can simply mean a difference of opinion.